


The Force (Fearing)

by marvelnatural



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Gen Work, Good Intentions, Hurt Poe Dameron, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Inappropriate Use of the Force, No Slash, Platonic Friendships are superior!, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Rey and Finn have the cutest friendship ever and I love them so much, Poe deserves the world and I love him more then anything, Poe-centric, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Finn (Star Wars), Protective Rey (Star Wars), The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22122268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelnatural/pseuds/marvelnatural
Summary: “Because once upon a time people didn’t have good intentions when they forced their way into my head”A little post-TROS fic exploring the lasting effects on Poe from his time being held prisoner by the First Order in TFA.Poe centric. Gen/no slash, just soft friendship. Canon compliment. Set after The Rise Of Skywalker
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	The Force (Fearing)

The sound of a grunt and something hitting the ground caused Poe to glance up from cleaning his tools. In front of him Rey had bested Finn once again in a mock lightsaber battle. He watched as Rey sheathed her weapon and offered a hand out to Finn. He took it, allowing himself to be pulled up.

“I’ll get you next time” he said with a wide grin.

”I hope so, it’s getting kinda boring _winning_ all the time” Rey retorted back with a smirk.

Poe gave a small smile to himself as he listened to his friends continued to bicker.

His _Jedi_ friends.

Poe wasn’t jealous. Well, maybe a little. Not much though. He acted like he was sometimes. For example, a few nights ago when he wanted the last bread roll. He pulled the ‘you two are already Jedi’s, let me have _something_ ’ card. Needless to say they let him have the bread.

It was all in good fun though, and they knew it. He was so proud of them both, really. They’d both come from pretty much nothing, never being the ones in charge, not even able to truly control their own lives. To see them now, thriving as Jedi’s of all things, made him...he didn’t know how to describe it. But he imagined this is probably something like the feeling a proud mother would have for their child.

He hoped his mother had felt this way about him.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he refocused his eyes to see what Rey and Finn were up to now in their training session.

Finn was sitting on the ground, Rey standing a few feet away, watching intently.

“Try again” she said softly, encouragingly.

Finn took a deep breathe and closed his eyes. He looked very concentrated, but frustrated. The lines on his forehead gave that away.

Suddenly Poe felt the earth around him start to shake. The fallen tree he was sitting on started to groan as it slowly but surly raised into the air.

He felt the hair on the back of his neck rise as a wave of emotions washed over him: proudness and panic, fear and fondness. It left him helpless.

Logically, he knew the tree was only a couple inches off the ground. Finn would never rise if any higher then that with him on, too dangerous. And he knew Finn and Rey would never hurt him. He trusted them with his life. But the other part of his brain—the force _fearing_ side, reared its ugly head and smothered any logical thought he had.

Still, Poe was top of his class at keeping his negative emotions out of sight. So he summoned up his classic ‘flyboy Poe Dameron’ grin and his best ‘I’m annoyed but not actually’ voice.

“Alright alright, we get it, you’re a _Jedi_. Now put me down before I come over there and beat you in a lightsaber duel too” he teased, hoping they couldn’t see through his facade.

Rey laughed at that while Finn half heartily rolled his eyes. Slowly the timber lowered, and when a slight crunch confirmed it was grounded, Poe got off as quick as he could, hoping he wasn’t making his discomfort to obvious.

He could hear Rey praising Finn, but he wasn’t focused and couldn’t hear the specifics of the exchange. Picking up one of his tools that had dropped in the unnatural event, he found himself holding onto it with a white knuckled grip. Which was fine, it hid his shaking hands.

He suddenly registered that he felt hot. Was he sweating? Why would he be sweating, it’s a relatively moderate temperature today, not hot.

Then it got hard to breathe. Was he even breathing at all? What was happening?

His mind was racing, something was wrong.

Deciding he needed to get out of there-and _quick_ -he turned around and let his feet carry him back to the resistance base on autopilot.

Poe didn’t run, that would bring too much attention to himself, but he definitely wasn’t taking a peaceful strole either.

He was disoriented as he stumbled through the woods. There had been a trail leading to the clearing his friends trained in, he was sure of it, but he wasn’t thinking straight and had dived straight into the undergrowth.

Soon enough the forest ended and he entered the clearing that housed the resistance base. He wasn’t sure what time it was but, judging by the lack of people around, he imagined everyone was probably eating lunch in the mess hall.

‘Good’ Poe thought gratefully. He didn’t want to be seen like this. Granted, he wasn’t sure what he looked like, but his mind had painted a mental picture and it wasn’t appealing.

After quickly double checking that no one was around, Poe made a beeline to his personal barrack. Slowing only to stumble with the keypad. After the third try, the door opened. It closed just as quickly after Poe hurried inside.

~

It wasn’t long before Finn and Rey rushed into the base.

“What do you think happened?” Finn asked Rey quietly.

People were just starting to gather in groups around camp. Lunch had just ended, Finn guessed. Last thing he wanted was some uninvited ears to overhear their conversation.

Rey shrugged. “Maybe he’s just tired, you and I both know he hasn’t been sleeping much lately” she said easily, trying to reassure Finn.

What she said wasn’t completely a lie. Poe hadn’t been sleeping much lately, that was true. And they both knew it, that was also true. They’d tried to bring it up with him a few times already but, stubborn as always, he would shrug it off, claim he’s fine, and try to reassure them by promising he’d get a full eight hours that night.

Rey frowned. As much as she wanted to believe it was just sleep deprivation, deep down she knew it was something more then that.

“Poe?” Finn asked as they reached the door.

No reply.

He knocked again. “Poe? Buddy? It’s Finn and Rey, can we come in?”

He could hear what he assumed was Poe moving inside, then a click as the door was unlocked.

Finn reached to type the passcode into the keypad, but pulled back as Rey had beat him to it. The pad turned green in acceptance and the door slid open.

“Poe?” Finn said again as he stepped inside. He quickly noted that the lights where off and the blinds on the window had been closed.

“Rey, could you hit the light? just the first switch though” Finn asked as Rey entered after him.

She obliged and flipped the switch. The room lit up only slightly as the dimmed lights came to life.

The little light was enough though.

Enough to see Poe sitting on his cot. Enough to see the dark bags under his eyes, the twigs in his hair and the cuts and scrapes that came with them, the way he looked so tired, so wary.

Rey gave Finn a look, a look he hadn’t been familiar with until he met Poe and Rey. Until he met his family. It was the look of pure worry and concern. He was sure he had the exact same expression on his face as he glanced back at her.

Poe was looking down at his hands, fidgeting with them.

“Poe?” Rey tried.

The pilot shifted uncomfortably, cleared his throat, then said “I’m alright” as he finally lifted his head to meet their worried eyes. A half hearted grin plastered on his face.

Rey didn’t believe him, and she could tell Finn didn’t either. Poe just looked so...sad and frail. Different from how he normally looked, but also different from earlier when he had run off.

When he ran off he had seemed distressed, fearful, scared even. Now he just seemed ashamed, sad, and tried—in more ways then one. But at least he was calmer, so she counted that as a small victory.

“We all know that’s not true, Poe. You obviously weren’t alright when you ran off, and I’m not convinced you are right now either.” Then, softening her tone, she added “What’s bothering you?”

Poe opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then closed it. Clearly at a loss for words.

Rey hesitated. She could reach out with the force to see what was causing Poe so much distress, but doing so seemed like such an invasive of privacy.

She glanced back at her friend. Inwardly debating with herself. Finn was kneeling in front of Poe, gently trying to pry out more information on what had happened. But the the pilot was barely responsive, which was especially odd for Poe, the man who always seemed to have something to say.

His strange behavior was starting to really scare her, and she knew Finn was just as worried as well.

Rey made up her mind. She knew it was wrong, but Poe was stubborn on a _good_ day. And today was definitely not a good day.

‘It might be the only way to figure out what went wrong, the only way to help him.’ She thought, trying to justify her actions to herself.

Before she could change her mind, Rey closed her eyes and reached out, trying to feel his emotions. Fear, pain, panic, shame, and embarrassment were the most prominent. She attempted to search a little deeper. Not too deep though, as Rey didn’t want to accidentally revel anything he hadn’t told them yet. He trusted her and she trusted him, she couldn’t do that to him. She just needed to find the reasoning for his fear. Poe wouldn’t even know she was th-

Her mental justification got cut short as she heard Poe speak.

“Which one of you is in _my head_ ” he demanded, voice strong but full of fear and betrayal.

Rey pulled back immediately. Coming back to her surroundings, she opened her eyes to see that Poe had stood, facing them. His muscles were tense, his body shaking.

She could now read his emotions easily. No force required. The raw animal fear and panic were easy to spot, as well as anger. But even more prominent was the betrayal. She could see it in his eyes, clear as day.

Guilt welled up inside her as she truly realized what she’d done.

Finn gave her a knowing look. He knew what had just happened, it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. He probably should be angry or disappointed with her, but he wasn’t. Finn knew Rey only had good intentions. How could he be mad at her? Regardless, he was too busy focusing on trying to help Poe right now.

“Poe, hey buddy” Finn said turning back to the trembling pilot. “It’s okay. It’s just us, Rey and Finn. Your friends” his hands were outstretched in a non-threatening way, similar to if he were trying to sooth a wild animal.

“ _ **Get out**_ ” Poe demanded dryly, running a shaking hand over his face. “ _Please_ ”

His voice betrayed him as he added the desperate plea, showing just how scared and tired he actually was. How close to _breaking_ he was.

Rey felt ashamed.

“I’m out, I’m out” she repeated with quite urgency, Copying Finn by holding her hands up in the same non-threatening way. “I promise, I’m out. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry.” Grief and guilt dripped heavily from her voice as she spoke the last part.

The fight was visibly fading from Poe as his short burst of panic induced adrenaline wore off. Slowly he was starting to calm down again. The shakiness in his hands was still ever so present as he wearily sat back down on the cot, arms crossed protectively around his stomach.

A few long minutes went by. Rey stared down at her feet the whole time. She didn’t know what to do. She was about to offer him some time alone, but halted when she heard Poe speak up again.

“What did you see?” He asked, voice barley more then a whisper.

Rey’s heart broke In two. Poe sounded so broken, so hurt. And this time, it was all because of her.

She finally worked up the courage to face him again. Slowly she lifted her gaze, her breath catching in her throat at what she saw.

Poe had managed to make himself somehow look even smaller and more fragile then before. It shocked her seeing the most confident and charismatic person she knew so...vulnerable.

”Rey?” Finn nudged her gently, snapping her out of her thoughts.

”I, uh, didn’t see anything”

She saw Poe deflate even more, like he didn’t truly believe her. Like he thought she was just trying to spare his feelings.

“Really, I didn’t. I promise. All I felt were the emotions you were currently feeling. That’s all I was looking for. I was very careful not to see anything you might not want me to” Rey knew this was a dire situation. One wrong move and she might permanently damage their friendship, and the mutual trust that comes with it.

‘That is if I didn’t already.’ She thought grimly.

Regardless, she continued on “I just wanted to know what had happened. I wanted to know what we could do to help you. I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“It wasn’t right man, I know, You have every right to be angry and we won’t blame you. But her intentions were good. She’s worried about you, we both are. Please, let us help you” Finn added from beside her.

“I’m not angry” Poe said, closing his eyes and tiredly lifting a hand up to press against his temple. “Just please, _never_ do that again”

Rey nodded sincerely “I should’ve never gone into your mind in the first place Poe, I wouldn’t dream of ever doing it again. I promise.”

“Can we sit?” Finn asked, understanding if Poe might not want anyone in his space right now.

Poe nodded. “Yeah, get over here” He said with a small genuine smirk. The light was already beginning to slowly return to his eyes, his body more relaxed then it had been a few moments earlier.

Finn returned the smile and took a seat on the right of Poe. Rey hesitated but quickly followed after Poe gave her nod and patted the empty space to his left, reassuring her.

A few minutes of silence past. Not awkward silence though, the good kind only shared between close friends. Finn was rubbing circles on Poe’s back and Rey had her hand positioned on his knee, trying their best to give him comfort.

“I-“ Poe hesitated momentarily before continuing “I’m sorry for taking off like that. And for snapping at you.” he said quietly, sincerely. Then, humorously he added “And for making you guys worry like mother hens. And for that time I started a fire in the mess hall. And for stealing Finn’s breakfast yesterday when he wasn’t looking. And fo-“

His sarcastic rant was cut short by Rey giving him her signature ‘Poe Dameron, you’re one of my best friends and I love you but you’re literally the most annoying man I know’ look. Poe just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and laughed.

”Wait...you ate my breakfast yesterday? That was you? That’s low, Dameron, that’s low.” Finn said with (mostly) mock disappointment as he shook his head over-dramatically.

“Honestly, you should’ve known better then to leave it unattended, I’m surprised it took you this long to figure it out” Poe said with his devil could care attitude, giving Finn a playful nudge.

“Why are you so afraid of the force Poe?” Rey asked out of nowhere.

She had connected the dots. Realized that both times today Poe only became distressed after being in close proximity with the force.

The atmosphere of the room quickly changed once again as Poe was caught off guard by the sudden inquire. Closing his eyes and taking a few calming breaths he managed to keep himself together. Being in the presence of people who loved and cared for him definitely helped too.

Rey carefully watched Poe react, pleased that he now seemed to have a handle on his emotions. She hadn’t wanted to ask him, especially now when he was just starting to return to his normal self. She knew it was cruel when he was still so vulnerable, but she had a suspicion and needed to know.

Poe kept his eyes closed as he confessed. “Because once upon a time people didn’t have good intentions when they forced their way into my head” he finished with a dark and choked laugh.

”Kylo Ren?” Finn asked.

He noticed how Poe visibly tensed after hearing the dark Jedi’s name. “Sorry” Finn said apologetically as he slowly reached out a hand and placed it on the other mans shoulder, hoping to keep him grounded from the bad memories Poe was surely remembering.

“Poe, you trust us, right?” Rey piped up, thoughtfully.

Poe didn’t miss a beat when he said, quite but confidently, “Of course I do. Always have, always will”

”Then you know we’d never intentionally hurt you in any way, right?” Rey inquired.

Poe nodded and looked down “I know, it’s just. Hard to remember that sometimes, you know?”

Both Rey and Finn nodded silently. They’d had their own fair share of traumatic experiences. Different experiences, that is. But to a certain degree they both knew what it was like.

“Thank you guys”

“Of course. That’s what friends are for, after all” Rey smiled gently.

There was a moment of silence between the three friends as they all thoughtfully nodded their agreements.

The silence didn’t last long.

“I’m also sorry for hiding Chewbacca’s crossbow last week. He couldn’t find it for hours. Was pretty funny though” Poe said, disrupting the tranquility.

“That was you? Brother, don’t ever let Chewie figure that one out, he’ll rip your arms out on sight” Finn said, shaking his head with a amused grin.

“And for that time I lightspeed skipped the Falcon...and the _other_ time I lightspeed skipped the Falcon”

Rey paused in the middle of removing a twig from Poe’s hair. “The _other_ time?” She said, loudly vocalizing her disapproval.

”And for the time I accidentally led a group of angry Zymods to the base.”

“Ok! ok! We get it. What you’re saying is we need to watch you better. You’re worse then a child” Finn quickly wondered how much trouble Poe must’ve got into when he actually _was_ a child. He chuckled at the thought. “You’re a handful.”

“Not true.” Poe defended “Besides, I bring excitement into your lives. It’d be boring without me, don’t deny it.” He deadpanned smugly.

“Yeah, I don’t know if _excitement_ is the right word” Rey teased, eyes shining.

“I’m with Rey on this one man. I think ‘stress and danger’ would be the words I’d use.” Finn said as he stood up from the cot. Turning back to face his friends he added “C’mon, let’s go see if there’s any leftovers from lunch left, I’m starving.” He told them, already striding towards the door. “And don’t even think about stealing any of _my_ food, Poe!” He warned, trying to sound serious but his smile giving him away.

Rey stood up next, walking to the spot where Finn had stood just moments before. Once she reached her destination she stopped and waited, making sure Poe followed.

She didn’t have to wait long.

Poe followed Rey out of the room and into the bright daylight. The temperature was heating up and the humid jungle air was thick. Poe didn’t mind, the warm air felt good on his skin after being in his dark cold room for so long.

The three of them walked side by side to the mess hall in perfect harmony. Poe smiled as he heard Rey and Finn laughing next to him. He wasn’t really sure what they were laughing at though, he’d zoned out again. But not in a panicked, disoriented way like earlier. This time he was busy wondering how he got so lucky.

So lucky to have found two wonderful friends like Finn and Rey. He knew it was cliché but meeting them truly did change his life, for the better. Both of them meant so much to him. They were his best friends, his team, the brother and sister he never had. They where his **_family_**. He wouldn’t trade them for the galaxy.

“So, exactly how many times have you lightspeed jumped the Falcon?” Rey asked, braking him out of his thoughts.

“Only three times”

“Three?”

“uh, maybe more. To be honest”

“ ** _Poe!_** ”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hope you enjoyed my first Star Wars fic. I had a idea and ran with it. The idea was that Poe might have some PTSD from being captured by Kylo and having the force unwillingly used on him (Which makes a lot of sense, actually). I’m proud of the concept but I don’t know how good this story turned out. I’ll let you guys be the judge of that. Reviews would be GREATLY appreciated.
> 
> Also, if you can’t tell, my favorite thing in the world is the platonic friendship Poe, Rey and Finn have! It’s just so sweet, they really are each other’s family by choice. Reminds me of siblings who are also each other’s best friends.  
> So, that being said. If anyone has any gen Rey, Poe and Finn fics, lmk! I’ll gladly read them :)


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